14-15 april 2020

 

April, 2020, Tues., 1pm; I got the “magic” and the breathing difficulty all mixed up, apparently, and I don’t know what I’m going to be able to do about any of all of this, and it looks like I won’t be able to get to Arizona. Somehow I’d just noticed over the weekend that I was “getting” the difficulty breathing right after I took the oxygen off instead of say half an hour or more and I used the little electric meter and its readings just go immediately down instead if taking awhile to do so like I’d thought, so now I can’t get to a store unless I take an oxygen tank and that trip takes longer than there’s oxygen for, etc. It’s scary, like your chest is closing up. I called an ambulance when I noticed this last month and now I’m realizing that they’d likely summarily-style kicked me out because I’d refused cardiac examinations and those are the next step in this process toward either “disappearing” or getting me to a group or old-age home, but I want to go to Sierra Vista/Fort Huachuca, AZ, which is what will also then cause most of the difficulties, and instead if explaining their process they’ll just kick me out again, but this time I ought to be well-organized enough to be able to have given up this room, which also seems ready for me to be gone already, but that is the standard Armageddon show gimmick, that I don’t realize they have “audiences” watching and commenting and per the unknown to me script those are saying that I should MOVE! get away from bothering people with your silly trashy obsession for “saving” the planet, leave the planet alone, etc., etc. It seems to generally be like that but is kept a secret from me as part of all this invisible and unprovable “Armageddon” torture-set. So these things, variables, are all mixed in together, and I’m trying to sort them out and then try to write to the few places in Arizona about them. There’s also a small variable that if I could stretch the little tank oxygen left till next week I’d get a new delivery and time to think and work in thus blog from this room, but my bigger problem seems how um going to be able to collect these cellphone-sends to bring the blog back to where I’d left off.Besides the MKUltra, that One Hundred Years of Solitude us a really controversial subject, plus that comes up at the end of the “Limitless” story, by Alan Glynn, as with now his “Receptor” story is becoming useful here. I’m “afraid” to use the words “novel” and “fiction” and probably literature and maybe classics anymore. The “Tales of Genji” Wikipedia says was probably the first novel, where I’m figuring the anonymous Jomon culture had likely come from there and led to the Melquiades type and all this TOTAL PLANET EXTINCTION direction I’m trying to warn against and there’s said to be some correlation between decapitation and the word “noh” there, and then “fix” like in fiction is the regular slang for a hypodermic high so I’d quit trying to use it anymore back in 2009. — Also maybe it’s what system-people do to you if you say “no” to them about anything.
One of the odd things in this is that when I’d learned that this loud plug-in electric oxygen machine is called a “concentrator” I’d figured it is LURE-connected and have fine without using it all this time but when they sent me back from the hospital on March 25, a Wednesday night, there wasn’t any oxygen in the tanks and I’d hadn’t any choice but to turn on the concentrator (to concentrate or con-send-traitor,) and now I’d like to stretch use of it till next Monday but I know that won’t work. The Illuminati section seems to look forward to me and my Obsession’s finally leaving. Another oddity is that the boy that takes the rent here somehow switched the due-date from Thursday to Saturday — maybe I’ve got an inkling now on how that maybe happened. It’s a little difficult always because this is all conjecture, I can’t second guess how other people think. Likely after I got here he’d been approached to “sell me out,” be a traitor, seems the standard and AGinsberg-type practice and in so doing he’s never been friendly or called me by my first name as being too wrongful for the parasites, but when the winter season’s greeting came around I’d put a little cash in a card for him and when I got late from the dogbite he’d mentioned my rent day was Friday and then the same pattern and this year he’s been s. This past week i was so sick i couldn’t get the rent to the office until Saturday morning, so now I have to get this figured by tomorrow but that would conjecturally bring up that his accomplices at the hospital would figure this place is paid for and I’d left it abandoned, and I don’t mean the other patients, but that the “tricks” on me had grown to be intolerable in consideration of my real-life circumstance, which apparently-almost Illuminate don’t believe, that I’ve been trying to figure all year how to explain this homelessness but having this place situation to their supervisor as opposed to their calling me a liar and getting it system-calculated that it’s therefore okay to play such “tricks” on me by don’t know what they’re doing bored clerks, that one being in November maybe. (Then they get excused and grow to being AGinsberg’s type’s extinction-bringing type LURE off of me.) Between the tricks here and then there it seems the 2 places are coordinated, and then the O2 company is in NASA parkway.
It doesn’t look like there’s any way I’d be able to clean up the blogroll pages from all these cellphone-sends.
Another oddity I haven’t been able to get back to us that for that “timewarp BI-pap machine) it was basically a Sidney Gottlieb -type sounding like the actor Brian Keith and filling me
in by audio somehow on background of what is known about God real-God, with the AGinsberg-type and voice hanging around morosely and being panned occasionally, throwing in comments only rarely. The aides seem to have been keeping my table tray cleared and that only ended when I saw I couldn’t find my, under the bed, eyeglasses. Whereas here it was back to the ASinsberg’s slipping into this all the time position in my head, which reminds me that after I hadn’t been hurt at all in the Kensington car-hit and was woken a week later, there was occasional talk around neurology, maybe a small neurosurgery. When u got released to the Kensington Nursing and Rehab Facility there’d been an appt. to see a neurologist in Bethesda but I hadn’t understood the transportation arrangement and didn’t make it to there, really scared because I knew anyone involved must’ve been a liar about the incident, etc.
I guess the fraud-parent (I’d had) had always done the same thing with Angel Food or Devil’s food cake, which one to make for me for my birthday, thoughts while trying to clean up the mess I’ll be leaving behind here. — Now I hear the Sidney Gottlieb type. It and the AGinsberg type did a regular shower-routine too, at the Washington shelter, and now I recall it’d first shown up as a health clinic Dr. Present. When I went back for a folliw-up they had a guy about 30 years younger swearing he’d been the first doctor Presenz! also. I think they’d come from enslaved to Me-kill-angelos’ group Leonardo da Vinci and down to Bell’s partner Thomas Augustus Watson, and that’s maybe where Gottlieb and Stan Lee and a lot of them had come from, enslaved like my type except much higher up and when I got here had, with an old white dog, pointed out the roadside gravesite and then been switched maybe for the Donald Ewan Cameron LSD-expert type that I see occasionally around here in a maroon pickup truck. [I finally asked and this neighbor doesnt know anything about the astronaut-manager John W. Young.]
1:30p, I have to figure how to try to sénd this in conjunction with á couple of emails but can’t do anymore tonight, realizing that without the knee-bending of I guess stairs-walking, you lose párt of thé ability to walk also, so I’ve rearranged this little room so I could practice the physical therapy by sleeping on the floor and thereby having to use the knees to lift myself in the morning, which has been difficult since 2015, where if I bend down to pick up something I might not be able to stand up again without help so I just leave it there but all that accumulated lack of that movement’s resulting in difficulty with bending my knees for ordinary walking too now, I just noticed on difficulty with taking out the traßh. A strange r would think that I’d neglected to make ordinary later-life provisions for myself but anything I’ve done is blocked by these “magic” secret bums, etc.
April 15, Wednesday, noon, probably not a good day to do anything but I have to at least jot a note before going to a hospital that there isn’t any connection between me and this “creating” people by disembodied ejaculation that I know of anything about. It seems however to be an enormous subject to alot of the behind my back controversy, so big that I should make a write-up that’s the last thing I send before “turning myself in.” I’m going to try sending this now, hoping it arrives complete….

15 April, Wednesday, noon, I’m doing the procrastinating now, hoping I could put off the food shopping till tomorrow somehow. Trying to see if it isn’t too late for some PT work on myself, but being indoors instead of outdoors seems to be the big debilitator anyway.